Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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