but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize