guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
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