I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just tell him i said nine months
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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