no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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