You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
