NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
