Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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