did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When did angry sex become our thing?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The Olympian is in my bed
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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