I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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