You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
