He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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