So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize