sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
