Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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