You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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