Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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