He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
