Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
