dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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