Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
