her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
