Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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