No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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