MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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