Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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