There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
