You can't motorboat a personality
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
