clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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