We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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