Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
