think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize