The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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