Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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