you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
