so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
