Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
