He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
