I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
