We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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