i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
