Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
