Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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