Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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