If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
