I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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