I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize