He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This toilet bowl is my home.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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