Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
