it wasn't lemon gatorade
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
