i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Boobs are out for the taking
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
