we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
