Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
