Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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