yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
