im having a threesome with these popsicles
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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