How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
