About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
