alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
