she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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