So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm too high and old for this...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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