Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
