I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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