People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
