I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
