last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize