I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
