is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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