Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
