Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize