this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
