Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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