I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
