So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
