3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
