i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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