the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
