Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Screwed.edu
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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